A New Year...

...and my house is clean, the pack and play is set up, hospital bags are packed, babysitter lined up for Emma...but no baby:( *sigh* I have to admit I'm disappointed. I had a REALLY strong feeling he'd come on New Year's Eve...but he didn't. I cried when the ball dropped. I was a total basket case. No 2009 baby for me - which means we don't get the additional tax credit we so desperately need. I have no idea how we'll pay off John's dental bills now. But mainly, I just don't want to be pregnant anymore. I'm sore, I'm huge, I'm uncomfortable, I'm grouchy...I'm SO ready to evict this kid. I want to meet him and hold him and cuddle him. *sigh* But he can't stay in there forever! He has to come out sometime! The sooner the better, I say. John thinks it will happen today. I hope he's right, but I'm not going to allow myself to get my hopes up too high. I don't need another meltdown. He'll come when he's ready. I just hope he decides to come by his due date (Monday). I know I'll break down again if I go overdue. I'm trying to distract myself with projects in the meantime.

I'm trying not to stress about finances. First, there's now the fact that we won't be getting as much of a tax return as I'd hoped since SOMEONE decided he wants to come in 2010. But there's also the fact that we're still waiting on winter semester's financial aid and student loan money to come in. Um, we kind of need that to pay rent for January...which is, um, due TODAY. Thankfully, we have till the 6th before a late fee will be assessed, but I've ALWAYS made a point of paying it on time, so paying it late kills me. LOL, there's also the added incentive of being entered into a gift card drawing for paying on time;) I just hope we can get the money in time. I refuse to pay a late fee since I'm still waiting on maintenance requests from at least a couple months ago...plus, they promised me babysitting money from like 2 months ago and have yet to pay me...*ahem* anyway. Feeling a bit bitter about it at the moment. I want the broken things fixed and I want my babysitting money from watching their hellion child dang it!

Aaaanyway. No new pages or scrapping stuff at the moment, though there are some awesome kits being released today. I made a new blog LO, but I want to wait till I have a newborn to show off. Hopefully soon...

A new year is a great time to make new goals, or to continue working towards ongoing ones with new vigor. Making and striving towards goals makes us better people. So without further adieu, here are my goals/resolutions for 2010:

1. Have a baby. This one has GOT to happen! He can't stay in there forever! *pokes belly* time to come out!

2. Lose weight caused by said baby. But my focus isn't going to be so much on shedding pounds or sizes. I'm going to TRY to focus on being healthy in general. I want to eat healthy, well-balanced meals and exercise regularly. I'm not going to go health-food or exercise crazy, though. That's impractical and unmanageable for me. I'm still going to eat chocolate and my primary type of exercise will simply be going out on walks (ideally everyday, once I've recovered from birth sufficiently). I want to be healthier overall but still indulge in junk food occasionally. The trick will be controlling portions. I need less of the junk and more of the nutritious.

3. Nurse for the whole year. This one should be easy:) I had some scary supply issues with Emma, but I pulled through them victoriously. I'm proud to say I never gave her formula:D I plan to do the same with this little guy:) Now that I know more about nursing, I hope to avoid the supply problems I had with Emma (she slept through the night super early and my supply plummeted). If I start to have problems, I'll be more aware and know how to fix them sooner:)

4. Be a better wife, mother, and person in general. This, of course, is a life-long ongoing goal. I can only hope to say I'm making progress. Probably haven't been making much lately with being hugely pregnant and hormonal, though! Learning to take care of 2 kids will prove interesting I'm sure. John recently discovered that he'll be doing a lot of group work this semester, so he'll be gone a LOT:( It'll be really hard I'm sure, but I know I'll be stronger and better for it.

5. Be better at home management. Cooking, cleaning, organizing, filing, financial management, etc. But most importantly, this means to make and keep my home a sanctuary. This, too, is a life-long ongoing goal.

6. Continue to develop spiritually. This is the key to making 4 and 5 possible. There are many areas in this department that I need to improve upon. But, like 4 and 5, this is an ongoing life-long quest.

7. Project 365. Yep, I'm going to try it! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Project 365 is where you take a photo a day - EVERY day - for the whole year (of course, you can always take more than one;)). The idea is to document your life and to improve your photography skills. And for digiscrappers, the norm is to turn around and scrap the photos by week. I'm excited:) It should be lots of fun! I already took a New Year's photo. But if I give birth today, that'll obviously trump the photo I've taken;)

I know there are more I could add, but I think this is a nice list for now:) That, and I need to get some sleep SOMEtime;) Happy New Year!!